and so it goes...

wow, it's been quite a while. I just can't keep up with this whole 'blog' thing. I can't even write a sentence a day. All my thoughts are just jumbled up in books and poetry and on little scraps of paper that probably end up in the garbage. That's a sad thought. I'd like to think others will read what i've written, otherwise why do i write? For myself? Yes. But hopefully others will feel inspired by something, as anyone is inspired by words that when put together sound extraordinary. some combo's are just powerful like that. It's so hard to make descisions. We only think about the outcomes. Surely theres more to it than what will happen at the end of it? Thing is, we only really think about the hard ones, the ones that seem big. In the end, i think they'll all seem like tiny speed bumps. They aren't the ones we got wrong, they didn't really matter in the end. The little ones seem to make up the big things.
Can we ever really know what we're supposed to do?
Only when we look back, i suppose. But then, what good is that? No good, unless we're in a little movie called BACK TO THE FUTURE.
But more than likely, we're not. ahrghgdkgds.
I know i'm going through a lot of different plot points in this little thing, but no one reads it anyway, do they internet? God, i hate you. You've ruined most of the lovelliest things in this world. No wonder people hate gen y. We never had a chance!
Two posts ago, it was about a boy. I think it's a couple of months on, it still hurts sometimes. Not all as often, though, which is nice. Patches. Thats what a good friend of mine said. I go through patches. Where it really hurts and then sometimes not as much. Other boys have entered my mind, which is always good. A cool change from always hot, in weather terms if we want to go there. These are always weak though. Watered down crushes of hope. It always seems to come back to him, though. I really really would like to like someone else as much as him, but it never seems to happen. He's too quiet, he's too shy, he's not into the same things as i am. Basically, i wish that you loved me.
Kate Nash knows what i'm going through. Isn't it funny that you can always find that one (or two) song(s) that completely and utterly sum up exactly how you're feeling? And then it's not as bad, 'cause you're like 'oh, well i am not the only one, then'. You're not alone.